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Email This To Friends & Family
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don ‘ t do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
you ‘ re an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he ‘ s only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he ‘ s on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it ‘ s because he ‘ s overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
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ALL FAMILY MEMBERS SHOULD READ THIS, ESPECIALLY CHILDREN!
These crooks are getting very creative!

A lady has changed her habit of how she lists her names in her cell phone contacts list/directory after her handbag was stolen.
Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, purse, etc.., was stolen.
Twenty minutes later she called her husband, from a pay telephone telling him what had happened.
Her husband said, ‘I have just received your text message asking about our bank PIN number and I have replied a little while ago.’
When they rushed down to the bank, the staff told them all the money was already withdrawn.
The thief had actually used the stolen mobile phone to text her husband listed in the cell phone contacts list and got hold of their bank ATM card pin number.
Within twenty minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their bank account.
Moral of the story:
Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people on your cell phone contact list.
Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Mom, Dad, etc..,
And very importantly, when sensitive information is being asked for through text messages, CONFIRM by calling back.
Also, when you are being text messaged by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm whether that message came from them..
If you do not reach them, be very careful about going places to meet ‘family and friends’ who text you.
PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON.
I never thought about THAT!
As of right now, do you have ‘home‘ listed in your cell phone directory?
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*Pencil:* I’m sorry….
*Eraser:* For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.
*Pencil:* I’m sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake,
you’re always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you
lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
*Eraser:* That’s true. But I don’t really mind. You see, I was made to do
this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though
one day, I know I’ll be gone and you’ll replace me with a new one, I’m
actually happy with my job.. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you
sad.
I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very
inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the
pencil. They’re always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes.
Sometimes along the way… they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and
eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new
(spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children,
and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.
This is for all parents out there…..
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The Mysterious Phone Bill
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called for meeting… on a Sunday morning… after breakfast…
Dad: People this is unacceptable. OK I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office But You too have to limit the use of the phone.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.
All of them now in a state of shock and together they look at their maid who until now is patiently listening to them.
Maid (un baffled): So – what is the problem? We all use our work telephone.
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Hope this interesting story touches you the way it touched me!
GOODBYE MOM

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven’t made you feel ill at ease; it’s just that you look so much like my late son.”
He answered, “That’s okay.”
“I know it’s silly, but if you’d call out “Good bye, Mom” as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy.”
She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, “Goodbye, Mom.”
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone’s day, he went to pay for his Groceries.
“That comes to $121.85,” said the clerk..
“How come so much … I only bought 5 items..”
The clerk replied, “Yeah, but your Mother said
You’d be paying for her things, too.”
Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker.
Don’t trust little Old Ladies!!!
 
Happiness is rooted in Simplicity
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WHY MEN DIE BEFOREÂ WOMEN
It’s not because they want to!!
 







See Also-Â 3 Stupid Stages Of Life
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The other toilet cubicle…
Traveling down a beautiful coast road I needed to use the toilet.
I stopped at a rest area headed for the toilet,
went into the cubicle and this is what happened…

"Hi, how are you?"
Now…I’m not the type to start a conversation in a toilet
and I don’t know what got into me, but… I answered…
"Doin' just fine!"
then the other person said:
"So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? I’m thinking….
this is too bizarre… so I said:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I was just trying to get out as fast as I could
when I heard another question.
"Can I come over?"
OK, this question was just too weird for me but I figured
I would just be polite and end the conversation…so I said:
“No.. I’m just a little too busy right now !!!”
Then I hear the person say nervously…
“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other cubicle
who keeps answering all my questions”
Mobile phones, don’t you just love’em
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Funny Emails
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Should have been given 100%
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
*Â marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* it will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Concrete floors are very hard to crack.
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One couldn’t give a piece of bread to the child in the picture above
But this painting where he looks sad was sold for hundreds of thousand of Rupees!
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
20 Indian Rupees looks so big amount when you all have to give to a poor
But looks small when you’re giving it as a tip in a HOTEL!
……………………………………………………………………………………………
After whole day of hardwork , we have no problem to go to gym
But doing house work and helping mom looks tired!
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
We wait for one full year for valentine’s day
But when do mother’s day come we never know!
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
Praying to Allh a few minutes, 5 times a day looks hard
But 3 hours of movie is ok for us!
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
On a new year we will think to forward happy messages
but we never think to FORWARD STRANGE MESSAGES LIKE THIS!
…………………………………………………………….
May This New Year Be A Happy And Prosperous One To You!
But May You Also Remember The Less Fortunate People Too…
Lets Be Helping Hand This New Year!
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