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MEMORIES OF FIGHTING NEIGHBOURS ANY ONE ????
Is this what marriage really means?
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Don’t Make Your Marriage Like This…
You Have The Power To Change.
SEE ALSO – A Mother’s Gift To Newly Married Couple…
~~ Marriage Email Forwards ~~ Popularity: 5% Email This To Friends & Family
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Words that men love to hear:“I believe in you.”“I want you.”“I feel safe with you.”Words that women love to hear:“I cherish you.”“I need you.”“I adore you.”
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Hope this interesting story touches you the way it touched me!
GOODBYE MOM
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven’t made you feel ill at ease; it’s just that you look so much like my late son.”
He answered, “That’s okay.”
“I know it’s silly, but if you’d call out “Good bye, Mom” as I leave the store, It would make me feel so happy.”
She then went through the checkout, And as she was on her way out of the store, The man called out, “Goodbye, Mom.”
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine Into someone’s day, he went to pay for his Groceries.
“That comes to $121.85,” said the clerk..
“How come so much … I only bought 5 items..”
The clerk replied, “Yeah, but your Mother said
Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker.
Don’t trust little Old Ladies!!!
Happiness is rooted in Simplicity Interesting Emails Popularity: 13% Email This To Friends & Family
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WHY MEN DIE BEFORE WOMENIt’s not because they want to!!
See Also- 3 Stupid Stages Of Life ~ Interesting Picture Emails ~ Popularity: 10% Email This To Friends & Family
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Long time ago, a man and a woman were madly in love.
They wanted to marry, but parents didn’t approve.
So they decided to suicide together, and planned to jump from a mountain.
The man could not bear to see his Sweet Heart Fall, so he convinced her that he will jump first, and he jumped. But the girl never jumped.
Thereafter all men decided to say….. “LADIES FIRST”
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The Still Life Pictures
What Is the Purpose of this life?
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LAWYER: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ LAWYER: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan _______________________________ LAWYER: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ LAWYER: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there.. ____________________________________________ LAWYER: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. LAWYER: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ LAWYER: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. LAWYER: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ LAWYER: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. LAWYER: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ LAWYER: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ LAWYER: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ LAWYER: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ LAWYER: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ LAWYER: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. LAWYER: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different Attorney. Can I get a new Attorney? ____________________________________________ LAWYER: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. LAWYER: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ LAWYER: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard LAWYER: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ LAWYER: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ LAWYER: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ LAWYER: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ LAWYER: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM LAWYER: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.. ____________________________________________ LAWYER: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: LAWYER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. LAWYER: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. LAWYER: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. LAWYER: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. LAWYER: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. LAWYER: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. – George Davey
Update: Many people want to get there hands on a copy of the book these jokes were mentioned in and read all the other funny stories like this that happened in US courts. However our brief search didn’t turn up any book by the name mentioned in this funny email forward which were supposedly the source of these legal jests. However there are atleast 3 books on Amazon.com online bookstore that might be the source of these jokes. If anyone knows that any of those books contain these jokes or you find the exact book called Disorder in the American Courts please leave a comment and let everyone know… Thanks ~ www.interestingemails.com ~
~ Lawyer Jokes One Liners and Funny English Sayings ~
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