Category Archives: Office, Job & Work Emails

engineer clipart picture

Salary Theorem – The Less You Know, The More You Make!

engineer clipart picture

The Less You Know, The More You Make

 

“Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.”

 

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

 

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

 

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

 

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

 

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

 

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

 

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

 

In Saw how this happens in a previous email titled

First Class, Second Class And No Class Students Jobs Later In Life

So Can This Email Forward Be True?

 

Thought To Ponder….

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walmart joke emails

Indian At Wal-Mart Job Interview Joke

O HAVE A LAUGH!

walmart joke emails

An Office Manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.

 

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified — an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Gujarati from India.

 

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

 

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know?”

 

Dave, the American, replied, “A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning that it’s on the way; it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.”

 

“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.

 

“And now you sir?” he asked Vladimir, the Russian.

 

“Hmm… let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.”

 

“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.”
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.

 

“Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on Yep, Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.”

 

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light” he said.

 

Turning to Patel, the Guy from India, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Patel replied, (in his Gujju accent!) “Apter herring da 3 prebius ansers sir, et’s obius to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA.”

 

“WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats…

“Oh, I can expleyn sir,” said Patel.

“You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I run so fast to the baatrum,, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I alredi done it !”

 

Patel is now the new “Office Manager” at Wal-Mart in Washington.

 

SEE ALSO

Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

Funny Lawyer Jokes

Fun Things To Do In Planes

 

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restaurant dining spoon

How Consultants Can Make A Difference In A Company

The Spoon Lesson:

restaurant dining spoon

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Very Impressive!

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ‘Steve’s Place,’ and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, ‘Why the spoon?’

‘Well,’ he explained, ‘the restaurant’s owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.

After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.

It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.’

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with the spare hanging in shirt of his. ‘I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.’

I was impressed.

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SEE Also:

The restaurant manager Jerry’s Amazing Attitude