WHY MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN
It’s not because they want to!!
See Also- 3 Stupid Stages Of Life
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 One couldn’t give a piece of bread to the child in the picture above But this painting where he looks sad was sold for hundreds of thousand of Rupees! 20 Indian Rupees looks so big amount when you all have to give to a poor
But looks small when you’re giving it as a tip in a HOTEL!
…………………………………………………………………………………………… But doing house work and helping mom looks tired!
We wait for one full year for valentine’s day But when do mother’s day come we never know! But 3 hours of movie is ok for us! ……………………………………………………………………………………………….
On a new year we will think to forward happy messages but we never think to FORWARD STRANGE MESSAGES LIKE THIS! ……………………………………………………………. May This New Year Be A Happy And Prosperous One To You! But May You Also Remember The Less Fortunate People Too…
Lets Be Helping Hand This New Year!
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TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE:THE FIRST CLASS,THE SECOND CLASSANDTHE NO CLASS
Most ‘First Class‘ students get technical seats, some become Doctors and some Engineers.
The ‘Second Class‘ pass, and then pass MBA, become Administrators and control the ‘First Class‘.
The ‘Third Class‘ pass, enter politics and become Ministers and control both.
Last, but not the least, The ‘Failures‘ join the underworld and control ALL the above.
Howz’ that ???
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LAWYER: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ LAWYER: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan _______________________________ LAWYER: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ LAWYER: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there.. ____________________________________________ LAWYER: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. LAWYER: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ LAWYER: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. LAWYER: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ LAWYER: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. LAWYER: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ LAWYER: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ LAWYER: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ LAWYER: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ LAWYER: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ LAWYER: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. LAWYER: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. LAWYER: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different Attorney. Can I get a new Attorney? ____________________________________________ LAWYER: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. LAWYER: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ LAWYER: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard LAWYER: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ LAWYER: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ LAWYER: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ LAWYER: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ LAWYER: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM LAWYER: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.. ____________________________________________ LAWYER: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: LAWYER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. LAWYER: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. LAWYER: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. LAWYER: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. LAWYER: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. LAWYER: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. – George Davey
Update: Many people want to get there hands on a copy of the book these jokes were mentioned in and read all the other funny stories like this that happened in US courts. However our brief search didn’t turn up any book by the name mentioned in this funny email forward which were supposedly the source of these legal jests. However there are atleast 3 books on Amazon.com online bookstore that might be the source of these jokes. If anyone knows that any of those books contain these jokes or you find the exact book called Disorder in the American Courts please leave a comment and let everyone know… Thanks ~ www.interestingemails.com ~
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A lawyer is sitting in his parked BMW when a tow truck crashes into the car. The crash takes car door clean off and the driver speeds away.
The lawyer immediately signals a cop and begins ranting about how much the damage to his car is going to cost. The cop replies, “You lawyers are so materialistic. All you care about is money.”
The lawyer says, “How DARE you call me materialistic.”
The cop replies, “Well, you’ve been so concerned about your car that you didn’t notice that your arm is missing.”
The lawyer screams, “DAMMIT! My Rolex!”
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