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Indian At Wal-Mart Job Interview Joke

O HAVE A LAUGH!

walmart joke emails

An Office Manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.

 

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified — an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Gujarati from India.

 

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

 

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know?”

 

Dave, the American, replied, “A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning that it’s on the way; it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.”

 

“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer.

 

“And now you sir?” he asked Vladimir, the Russian.

 

“Hmm… let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.”

 

“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.”
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.

 

“Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on Yep, Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.”

 

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light” he said.

 

Turning to Patel, the Guy from India, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Patel replied, (in his Gujju accent!) “Apter herring da 3 prebius ansers sir, et’s obius to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA.”

 

“WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats…

“Oh, I can expleyn sir,” said Patel.

“You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I run so fast to the baatrum,, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I alredi done it !”

 

Patel is now the new “Office Manager” at Wal-Mart in Washington.

 

SEE ALSO

Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

Funny Lawyer Jokes

Fun Things To Do In Planes

 

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Wonderful Funny Signs And Sayings From The Non-English World!

Wonderful, Funny English Sayings on Signboards

From The Non-English Speaking World

 

In a Bangkok Temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

 

Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

 

 

Doctor’s office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

 

Dry cleaners, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

 

In a African Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

 

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

 

On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

 

In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

 

In a Cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

 

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

 

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

 

In a Tokyo Bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

 

Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

 

Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

 

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

 

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

 

Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

 

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

 

 

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like British Airways!!!)

 

A Laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

And finally the all time classic sign quote:

 

Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window: IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…

 

 

——

 

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Name Is The Game – Naming Children According To Parents Jobs!

It has been suggested that people should name their children according to their occupation or job. For instance:

Lawyer’s daughter: Sue

Thief’s son: Rob

Lawyer’s son: Will

Doctor’s son: Bill

Hair stylist’s son: Bob

Homeopathic doctor’s son: Herb

Justice of the peace’s daughter: Mary

Sound stage technician’s son: Mike

Gambler’s daughter: Bette

Iron worker’s son: Rusty

Sweeper’s son: Dustin

TV star’s daughter: Emmy

Movie star’s son: Oscar

 

(Author unknown)

 

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The Story Behind “LADIES FIRST”

Long time ago, a man and a woman were madly in love.
They wanted to marry, but parents didn’t approve.

So they decided to suicide together, and planned to jump from a mountain.

 

The man could not bear to see his Sweet Heart Fall, so he convinced her that he will jump first, and he jumped.

But the girl never jumped.

 

Thereafter all men decided to say…..

“LADIES FIRST”

 

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