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Smart Ass Out Of The Box Answers By Students Who Failed!

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STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% 
Should have been given 100%

 

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

 

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

* at the bottom of the page

 

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

* liquid

 

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?

* marriage

 

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

* exams

 

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?

* Lunch & dinner

 

Q7. What looks like half an apple?

* The other half

 

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

* it will simply become wet

 

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??

* No problem, he sleeps at night.

 

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

 

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?

* Very large hands

 

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

* No time at all, the wall is already built.

 

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

*Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

 

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I WAN’T TO BE TV (inspirational)

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A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write a essay about what they would like God to do for them…

At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.

Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her:

- What happened?

She answered:

- Read this. It’s one of my students essays

Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk…. I want to be the center of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired. And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me… And… I want my brothers to fight to be with me… I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them…

Lord I don’t ask you for much… I just want to live like every TV

At that moment the husband said:

- ‘My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!

She looked up at him and said:

- ‘That essay is our son’s!!!

Parents wake up !!

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T-Shirt Of The Year – Cutest Breast Cancer Email Ever!

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Read the T-Shirt and PLEASEKEEP IT GOING!


This is the cutest breast cancer email I have ever received.

tshirt breast cancer email

All you are asked to do is keep this circulating.

Even if it’s to one more person..

In memory of anyone you know that has

been struck down by cancer or is still living with cancer.

Please Keep this email forward Going!

A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.

forward interesting emails

All you are asked to do is keep this message circulating.

This breast cancer message (including any attachments) is intended only for the use of the individual women, girls and femailes or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is non-public, proprietary, privileged, confidential, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law or may constitute as attorney work product. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, notify us immediately by telephone and (i) destroy this message if a facsimile or (ii) delete this message immediately if this is an electronic communication. Thank you.

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Mulla Nasruddin Jokes And Folktales From Turkey

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Mulla Nasruddin Jokes And Folktales From Turkey

Mulla Nasruddin jokes

Mulla Nasruddin Deliverse A Sermon

Once Nasreddin was invited to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he asked, “Do you know what I am going to say?” The audience replied “no”, so he announced, “I have no desire to speak to people who don’t even know what I will be talking about!” and left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time, when he asked the same question, the people replied “yes”. So Nasreddin said, “Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won’t waste any more of your time!” and left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question – “Do you know what I am going to say?” Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered “yes” while the other half replied “no”. So Nasreddin said “Let the half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the half who don’t,” and left.

Mulla Nasruddin – Who do you trust

A neighbour came to the gate of Mulla Nasreddin’s yard. The Mulla went to meet him outside.
“Would you mind, Mulla,” the neighbour asked, “lending me your donkey today? I have some goods to transport to the next town.”

The Mulla didn’t feel inclined to lend out the animal to that particular man, however. So, not to seem rude, he answered: “I’m sorry, but I’ve already lent him to somebody else.”

All of a sudden the donkey could be heard braying loudly behind the wall of the yard.

“But Mulla,” the neighbour exclaimed. “I can hear it behind that wall!”

“Who do you believe,” the Mulla replied indignantly. “The donkey or your Mulla?”

Mullah Nasruddin: Taste the same

Some children saw Nasreddin coming from the vineyard with two basketfuls of grapes loaded on his donkey. They gathered around him and asked him to give them a taste.

Nasreddin picked up a bunch of grapes and gave each child a grape.

“You have so much, but you gave us so little,” the children whined.

“There is no difference whether you have a basketful or a small piece. They all taste the same,” Nasreddin answered, and continued on his

way.

Note: Mulla Nasruddin was a mystic Moslem character believed to have lived in a town situated in modern day country of Turkey during the Seljuk Islamic empire. There is a large number of jokes and folklore surrounding him and he is the most famous wise-cracker of Middle East.

Read More Jokes like this see Interesting Mails And Islamic Jokes


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The Dumbest Kid In The World

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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER

Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.


Checkout & read interesting emails at Interesting Email Forwards dot Com.

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FAMILY = Father And Mother I Love You (Pass This To Your Loved Once)

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F A M I L Y


I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
“Oh excuse me please” was my reply.


He said, “Please excuse me too;
I wasn’t watching for you..”


We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.


But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.


Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.


When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
“Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.


He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.


While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still small voice came to me and said,


“While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.


Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.


Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.


He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.”


By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.


I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
“Wake up, little one, wake up,” I said.


“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”
He smiled, “I found ‘em, out by the tree.


I picked ‘em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue.”


I said, “Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”

He said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay.
I love you anyway.”


I said, “Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”


FAMILY


Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.

But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more

into work than into our own family,

an unwise investment indeed,

don’t you think?


So what is behind the story?


Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU


Pass this emotional inspiring forward this message to your loved ones

This A Interesting Mail To Send

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FW: Stupid Questions With The Smart Answers

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BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.


GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…


GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number??


GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve??


BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??


BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??


SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.


MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.


WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.


MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.


1) Girlfriend : “…And are you sure you love me and no one else ?”
Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday”.


2) Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Pupil : “The moon”.
Teacher : “Why?”
Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.


3) Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Pupil : “A teacher”.


4) Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”
Customer : “What other colors do you have ?”


5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.


6) Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot !”
Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher : “What do you mean?”
Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher : “What about your mother?”
Sam : “She’s a woman”.


7) Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”
David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.


8) Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”
Student : “Brotherly love”.


9) Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.


10) Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.


11) Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”


12) Teacher : ” George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”
One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”


FORWARD TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!


I hope you laugh too


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