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Learning English Alfabet The Punjabi Way! ~ Funny Indian Emails

How the Indians in Panjabi state learn their English alfabet…


Say them out loud 🙂


A is for Aiscreame


B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your butt. It is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.


C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. ‘Defence Cloney’.


D is for the proverbial ‘Dangar da Puttar’


E is for Expanditure, the spending of money


F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building


G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame.


H is for ‘Ho Jayega Ji’, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s not going to happen.


I is for Intzaar, and to know more about it see P.


J is for Jutt, which every Punjabi seems to be.


K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc, the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses

(e.g.’Keeping up with the Khuranas ji’)


L is for Loin, the king of the jungle


M is for ‘Mrooti’, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.


N is for ‘No Problem Ji.’ To find out how that works see H.


O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy…).


P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far(100 km) a Punjabi is from you he

always says he’ll reach you in punj mint (5 minutes…).


Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslatable into Punjabi – does not exist in the culture.


R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one (risk), even if the odds are against him.


S is for Sweetie, Sunny, Simmi and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi .


T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori Chickun.


U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncul-ji’


V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 2 lakhs and counting.


W is for Whan, as in ‘Whan are you coming, ji?’


X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in Punjabi conversations.


Y is for ‘You nonsanse’, when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.


Z is for Zindgi which every Punjabi knows how to live to the fullest.


Check www.interestingemails.com for more interesting funny emails & forwards like this.

Smart Arse Answers Awards 2011


6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

‘What are my choices?’ the man asked.

‘Yes or no,’ she replied..


5th Place


A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

‘Sir, I need to see your ticket – not your stub.’


4th Place


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

The assistant replied, ‘I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’


3rd Place


The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said.

The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


2nd Place


A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ‘ Low Bridge Ahead.’

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars were backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car came up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab

And said to the driver,

‘Got stuck, eh?’

The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of diesel!’



A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.

‘Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family,

but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’

A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

‘What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sneering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

‘Well, I suppose you’d have to write with your other hand.’


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